Friendship, (and other things a bit out of our control)


I have this theory: you don’t choose your friends.

Well, okay, yes you do. Of course you do. You wouldn’t have been friends with that person if you hadn’t talked to him in Math class. But I have this theory (is it a theory if it’s proven true to me alone?) that you don’t fully, completely choose your friends. Fate, destiny, call it whatever, is a part of it too.

It’s like being in love with someone. If you want to be in a relationship with someone, then it’s up to you to make it happen. But there’s always that spark that people talk about when meeting someone, a spark they can’t control.

Well, it’s like that for friendships also. If there’s no spark, you won’t stay friends for long.

I know this because I’ve done my best to be friends with some people, I hung out with them a lot, talked, hung out…but still, for some reason, we don’t end up being friends. But for others, all we need is a few conversations (maybe even one if you’re that lucky) and BAM! There’s a connection.

And neither of you control the connection. It just happens.

Think about it. When you think about your best friends and how you two ended up that way, isn’t the answer close to, “it just happened”? I don’t even remember how my best friend and I came to be. I remember how we met, but I don’t remember how we got to the point where we know each other better than we knew ourselves.

I write this because I’m new to college and I’m still waiting for that connection to happen. And I know people out there are also waiting for that connection to happen. But I know that connection very well with my Amazing Six (that’s what we call ourselves, hehe), and other people as well, that I know it’s bound to happen, sometimes with people we least expect.

So maybe friendship’s just a bit out of our control. But I also know that you can’t just depend of fate alone. A huge part of the process is you making it happen.


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