There is this great Winnie the Pooh quote that has stuck with me ever since I read the books when I was 12. Ready to hear it?
In modern lingo: Make the first move.
When I was younger, I was an incredibly shy person. I would sit in the back of the class and pretend I didn’t exist. My nomadic nature didn’t help either – the fact that my family and I kept moving just made it worse. And I wondered why I couldn’t make any friends. Why weren’t any of the other kids coming to me? Why weren’t any of them starting a conversation with me? I didn’t have shrimp in my teeth, did I? Wouldn’t I notice if I did? (I mean, I’d be dead. Because, you know, I’m allergic.)
And then I met my middle school best friend. He was reading a copy of The Little Prince and with it being my favorite book ever, I started a convo with him before I could decide not to. Turns out, he was reading it because it as his favorite actor’s (James Dean) favorite book. And we ended up having an actual full conversation.
Turns out, instead of waiting for others to come to me, all I actually had to do was come to them.
Here’s the truth: we’re all shy sometimes. Nobody really likes being the first to start a conversation with a stranger. We all dread that awkward silence that follows when we end up having nothing to talk about. And it would definitely be easier if others started a conversation with us.
But like what Alice says in Through the Looking Glass, if we all followed the ‘Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to’ rule, then nobody would be talking. We’d all be waiting for each other to say something.
So the next time you meet your squish, try something new. Start a conversation. Who knows, maybe your squish wants to be friends with you too, but is too shy. (What? It could happen.) And even if that’s not the case, he/she’ll see your bedazzling personality and instantly want to be friends with you right away.
Like always, this is your life, and you don’t have to be just the main character of your story. You can choose to be the author as well.
It’s a simple advice, but it goes a long away. Take A.A. Milne’s word for it.