Would You Rather?

So my friends and I have been obsessed with this book called Would You Rather? by Justin Heimberg. It’s an activity book filled with would you rather questions and I thought I’d answer some questions in this blog. So I’ve chosen five random questions from this book and I’m going to do my best to answer them, complete with arguments and reasoning.

Here we go.

Would you rather have Kool Aid sweat or ketchup tears?

Well, one of them is trademarked, so I guess that leaves me with ketchup tears. Totally kidding. I’d rather have Kool Aid sweat, thank you very much. There are so many advantages to Kool Aid sweat. You can go jogging without ever having to worry about losing your water jug. Hell, you can even SELL the Kool Aid! You can start a business without a single expense. Ketchup is given for free in restaurants, and also, how often does a person even cry? A person sweats more than once in a day. This is an obvious question.

Would you rather have cheddar dandruff or potato chip nails?

Look, I properly groom myself, okay? Even if I had both of these it wouldn’t be a problem since I have heard of hygiene. But let’s say for argument’s sake that I don’t. Potato chip nails would seem like the obvious answer, but man, those nails would be weak. They’d keep breaking and I’d have to clean up everywhere. Cheddar dandruff is great because everything tastes great with cheddar. If I’m eating at a fancy restaurant, all I gotta do is scratch my head and wham! My meal is twice as good. I’ll even get stares of jealousy from everyone around me.

Would you rather win $50,000 or let your best friend win $500,000?

Oh, I feel really bad for saying this, but I’d let myself win $50,000. I could really use the money right now. It doesn’t seem right to let my best friend win, and then ask him for 50% of it – I mean, I did let HIM win it. Look, I gotta take care of myself first before I can take care of anyone else. And if I win that $50,000, I can invest in it and make even more money, and I can use that money to help my best friend out! Everybody wins!

Would you rather be able to teleport or fly?

Teleport, definitely. Flying seems really cool and all, but eventually flying’s just going to become walking 2.0. I’m going to grow lazy and only fly when I really need to. Also, flying would probably just take as much time as walking, and you can’t even go inside locked rooms. See, the great thing about teleportation is that you can magically teleport anywhere in a second without any barriers. Even if the room is locked, you can still go in and out. Teleportation would also come real handy if ever I, erm…run into trouble.

Would you rather have your imaginations constantly buffer or be in a different language?

NEITHER, OKAY. BOTH WOULD BE TERRIBLE. I use my imagination a lot, and if I can’t even understand it, what’s the point? But also, who likes buffering? I absolutely hate buffering. I guess if I had to choose, buffering would be the better choice. Sure, you can say I can just learn the new language, but 1.) learning a new language is really hard (believe me, I’ve tried for four years) and 2.) I kinda need my imagination to learn a new language. I guess I’ll suffer through the buffering then. Actually, can I pause my imagination, and then play it to avoid buffering?

Let me know in the comments below: what would you rather?


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